How to support yourself when you are waiting for a loved one to return from captivity?
Waiting for a loved one to return from captivity is perhaps one of the most difficult and painful trials a woman can face. It is a life on pause, stretched out in time, where every second is filled with uncertainty, anxiety, and hope. There are no simple recipes or universal tips in this state, but there are things that help you survive, not lose yourself, and maintain a connection with the one you are waiting for.
Here are some internal guidelines that can be a support during this difficult period:
1. Allow yourself to experience all emotions.
Don’t keep the pain inside. You have every right to cry, scream, feel rage, powerlessness or despair. Don’t try to be «iron» every moment. Free yourself from guilt for joy. Even in the most terrible times, allow yourself to feel a moment of peace from a warm coffee, a child’s smile or the support of a friend. This is not a betrayal of expectations – it is your resource for survival.
2. Shift your focus to the manageable «here and now.»
Break your time into small chunks. When it’s impossible to look months ahead, live for today or even one hour. Ask yourself, «What can I do right now, in this minute?»
Keep to a routine. Habitual rituals—making your bed, drinking a glass of water, taking a short walk—create a safety net for your psyche when chaos reigns around you.
3. Choose a circle of trust. Filter your surroundings.
Unfortunately, not all people know how to support properly. Avoid those whose words hurt and those whose presence takes away hope. Look for a community of those who understand. Women who are going through the same pain (organizations of families of prisoners) are able to understand you without unnecessary words and provide the support that no one else will give.
4. Take care of your «I».
You are not just your expectations. You remain an individual with your own needs, dreams, and pain. If you feel that you cannot cope on your own, seek help from mental health professionals. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
The thematic wave «Supporting Women Whose Relatives Serve» was created jointly with UNICEF Ukraine within the framework of the All-Ukrainian Mental Health Program «How Are You?» – an initiative of the First Lady Olena Zelenska and is implemented, among other things, within the framework of the activities of the «Community of Universities How Are You?», which currently unites 42 leading higher education institutions from all over Ukraine. From the Zaporizhzhia region, only the Zaporizhzhia Polytechnic National University is in this university pool.
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